Myron The Ugly Troll

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Find your lighting and warm up those vocal cords. We are holding a “Myron the Ugly Troll” video contest!

Who is Myron the Ugly Troll, you ask? Well, listen to the song below and it should give you a good idea of what a bugger he was:

Entering is easy. All you have to do is submit a video of you singing Myron the Ugly Troll. Be as creative as your heart desires!

Three winners will be decided by public vote. The prize is a 9×12 PVC portrait of Myron the Ugly Troll signed by the Goo Crew.

All videos will be featured in a video compilation of Myron the Ugly Troll with the other video contestants, edited by CameraMandi.

Video Submission Ends: Thursday, June 11th at 11:59 MST

Some basic rules: Keep all videos family friendly. You acknowledge by submitting a video that it will be used in the video compilation and posted to Gooey Cube’s social media. For your safety, be conscious of what is around you. Avoid putting any personal information in the video or in view of the camera. All videos are subject to review before posting. Many people can sing in the video, but only one prize will be given per video.

    I consent to the use of my image, likeness, and any and all attributes of my personality, in, on, or in connection with, any film, audio tape, video tape, audio-visual work, photograph, illustration, animation, or broadcast, in any media or embodiment, now known or unknown, including, without limitation, all formats of computer readable media, produced by or for the benefit of Gooey Cube LLC. I further consent to the use of my image, likeness, and any and all attributes of my personality in any advertising or promotional material created or used in connection with Gooey Cube LLC, and each such item of advertising or promotional material will be considered a "Work" for purposes of this agreement. I irrevocably assign to Gooey Cube LLC any and all claims of copyright I may have in and to Gooey Cube LLC advertisements, and the exclusive and perpetual right throughout the world to use, print, produce, publish, copy, display, perform, exhibit, transmit, broadcast, disseminate, market, advertise, sell, lease, license, transfer, modify, and create derivative works from Gooey Cube LLC in any media or format, now known or unknown, for any purpose whatsoever. I represent and warrant that I am over the age of eighteen (18) years and that all video participants are over 18 years of age or that I have the necessary authority to consent on behalf of any participants under 18 years of age, and that the authorizations and rights granted hereunder do not conflict with or violate the rights of any third party. This agreement will be binding upon my heirs, successors, representatives, and assigns.

Last, but not least… here are the lyrics! Happy singing!

There were an old troll named Myron… T’was a surly old troll it’s true;

He lived down under Farley’s Bridge… T’would take a toll er two!


He were a nasty cusser… With a big-ol’ warty nose;

When he would pick a boogie… He’d wipe it on his clothes!


Oh My-ron… My-ron… Myron the ugly troll

His face looks like a pile o’ puke… He smells like a bunger hole.

When he comes a callin’… Ya better pay the price….

Or he’ll put you in his boilin’ pot… An’ eat ya by the slice!


When folk would come a ridin’… Down to the riverside;

An’ try to cross old Farley’s Bridge… That troll would come beside.


He’d ask ‘um for a Gold or two… An’ if they didn’t give;

He’d take ‘um down below the bridge… An’ stick ‘um with his shiv!


Oh My-ron… My-ron… Myron the ugly troll

His face looks like a pile o’ puke… He smells like a bunger hole.

When he comes a callin’… Ya better pay the price….

Or he’ll put you in his boilin’ pot… An’ eat ya by the slice!


Now Myron were a hungry troll… His teeth were big n’ green;

He’d eat three men in just one day… An’ yer granny in-between!


Ye didn’t wanna cross him… That’d put ya in a spot;

He’d take ya down beneath the bridge… An’ cook ya in his pot!


Oh My-ron… My-ron… Myron the ugly troll

His face looks like a pile o’ puke… He smells like a bunger hole.

When he comes a callin’… Ya better pay the price….

Or he’ll put you in his boilin’ pot… An’ eat ya by the slice!


Now down to Farley’s Bridge one day… Came a maid named Se-a-vole;

She were a Ranger from the west… On her way to Prond-a-dole


Old Myron come upon her… Said pay or she’d be dead;

So Se-a-vole pulled out her sword… An’ cut off Myron’s head!


Oh My-ron… My-ron… Myron the ugly troll

He learnt his lesson, yes he did… From the ranger Se-a-vole.

Now when folk come down to the bridge… So ‘fraid to shake their bones…

They see old Myron’s ugly head… Stuck on the cornerstone.

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